where ya gotta think……”Man, where do these people come from?”

My evening started out with “The Hugger.” This customer is a very sweet and childlike man in his early forties. I have known him for quite some time. He was originally a customer of my co-worker Ashley. However, since Ashley and I are both tall, blonde, and possess similar water balloons, he has a tendency to substitute me for her whenever she is not available.

When I first approached The Hugger, he said hello and asked if Ashley was working. I had to tell him that she moved back to the Bay Area of California. He was sad that he didn’t get to say goodbye, but quickly asked me if I wanted to “do 15 minutes” I agreed and took him to a private corner of the main floor.

The Hugger does not buy dances. Instead he buys hugs. Instead of charging him by the song, I pro-rate my standard VIP hourly rate to 15 minutes for him. He actually gets a better deal this way, usually an extra song or two. He doesn’t want me to dance, or even take my gown off, he just wants me to sit on his lap and hug him. Like a little boy who needs his mama, he just wants me to hug him and stroke his head. Usually he tells me about his day and I tell him about mine. He doesn’t want me to be flirty or seductive in any manner towards him. I think he just didn’t have a caring mother figure in his life and this is how he fills that void.

It was a bit different this time. Weird. Not bad weird, but “this is a story I’ll tell for the rest of my life” weird. So we are sitting there and outta nowhere he touches my nose and says, “I have a nose fetish.”

“OK” I say cautiously…”tell me about it”

“Well, I don’t want to scare you or freak you out if I tell you this.” He replies. “Some girls won’t hang out with me after I tell them this, but you seem like you won’t judge me if I tell you”

“Of course I won’t judge you” I say. I won’t. I just think he’s a very nice person who has some issues (don’t we all have issues though???)

“I’d really like it if you held your nose and sang for me” he said cautiously… obviously hoping I wouldn’t freak out.

“What??” I didn’t quite get it.

He reached out and pinched my nose. ”Sing” he said. Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing was playing.

I couldn’t control my laughter. I BUST OUT laughing. “Are you serious?” I asked. He smiled and nodded.

“OK. Don’t Stop! Believing” I sang with that nasaly sound that occurs when you hold your nose. Then Bon Jovi came on. “Tommy used to work on the Docks. Union went on strike,he’s down on his luck its tough….so tough” I sang.

This went on for a good twenty minutes! It was friggin’ hilarious. The whole time I couldn’t believe this guy was PAYING me to sit on his lap, fully clothed, and sing songs with my nose pinched closed. We were laughing and singing together. He stayed for a full half hour.

When our time was up he paid me and thanked me for making his night.

I love when people tell me that. Mission Accomplished!