Strip and Grow Rich

How To Become A Stripper

The Weirdest Thing That Ever Happened To Me In A Strip Club

Flashback to early 2002. I was 26 and working at The Larry Flynt Huster Club in San Francisco. Despite the leave nothing to your imagination mantra of the magazine, this club wasn’t even topless. We had to glue cloth pasties on our nipples and cover the entire areola. This was back when I drank copious amounts of vanilla vodka and Jaegermeister with DJ John. I had to be tipsy to dull the pain of ripping those things off my nipples at the end of the night.

Sneezy Pepper Guy

it feels weird. I’m never home on Friday night. I have an overwhelming urge to paint my face, do my hair, dress up in glamourous rhinestone gowns, and then take them off for random strangers. If I was your ordinary housewife that sentence would sound strange.

One thing about taking a long block of time off is that I look forward to going back to work. After a few days I start to miss my friends. I miss the music. I miss the cool regulars who are happy to see me after a long day. And, in the most warped sense…I don’t really miss the creeps I run across at work…but the creeps, jackasses, and weirdos are the ones that make this job interesting and give me funny stories to tell.

Stripper Economics

stripper economics

The more I read these textbooks on economic theory, the more I see the strip club as a very simple model of a capitalist economy. All the theories I read about my Freshman Year of college in Macro, Mico, Price and Income theory come to life!

Supply and Demand. There is no schedule for dancers at Christie’s Cabaret. However, the supply of dancers usually meets the demand for dancers by the customers. Five years ago the club was much busier. As a result the night roster would reach 60-70 entertainers on the weekends. Lately, it peaks around 45 on weekends because of decreased customer demand. I can’t wait til Nascar, Golf, Superbowl, and Spring Training.

Addonis and Mr Slave

Tonight was an interesting Wednesday night.

First I ran into my old friend, Addonis the Greek.

“Hey! Did you ever find your phone?” I asked him. The last time I saw him, about 3 months ago, he was frantically searching for his cell phone that he SWORE he left on the table. I helped him move the chairs, looked under the table, got the floormen to come over with the flashlight….but alas his phone was gone. He left the club, drunk and grumbling about how everyone’s a thief, and he’s never coming back here again….

The Hugger

where ya gotta think……”Man, where do these people come from?”

My evening started out with “The Hugger.” This customer is a very sweet and childlike man in his early forties. I have known him for quite some time. He was originally a customer of my co-worker Ashley. However, since Ashley and I are both tall, blonde, and possess similar water balloons, he has a tendency to substitute me for her whenever she is not available.

Strip Clubs Satisfy Men’s Emotional Needs

I had a great conversation with a friend of mine today. He’s divorced, been playing the dating game and pretty much fed up with it all. We started talking about what he’s looking for in a mate, and it got me thinking about a great book called His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley Jr.

In a nutshell, all humans have 10 emotional needs: Sexual Fulfillment, Recreational Companionship, Physical Attractiveness, Domestic Support, Admiration, Affection, Conversation, Honesty and Openness, Financial Support, Family Commitment. The first five tend to be the primary emotional needs of men, the second five tend to be the primary emotional needs of women.

My Stripperella Evening

I just had the kind of night every good stripper dreams about.

I had just finished one hour in VIP, and my spirits were high. I was already ahead of my monetary goal for the evening. I headed back to the packed main floor and started selling table dances without missing a beat of the first available song.

Cosmo, the absolute hardest working floormen I have EVER seen, discretely taps me on myshoulder and whispers “I have a VIP guy asking for you. He was here last night but you were already signed out with another client.”